Today I was away in: Sea Isle City, NJ

Yes friends, I just returned from a brief stint at the Jersey Shore, and while Scott bounced back from Florida with jolly tales of skinny dipping and lewd photographs from the gulf, I am sad to say that there will be no such photos from my trip to NJ (partly because I spent all of my time on the beach wearing sweat pants, a hoodie, and a blanket in an effort to keep warm...partly because I am not a hussy).

Despite the cold, I learned several important things at the shore that I would like to pass on to you now.

1) Sharing a bathroom with 10 of your relatives takes careful planning, a bit of wit, and the willingness to wake up at the crack of dawn to beat everyone else to the toilet.

2) Eight-year-olds use a lot of polish when they paint your nails. Keep a chisel at hand to chip off the extra 6 inches of paint that will be left on your fingers when your manicure is finished. Remember to smile because this was your idea... and then because you wouldn't have it any other way.

3) False faces can liven any social gathering.

4) Seagulls walk funny in the wind.

5) My grandmother used to iron outside.