"Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
-deep thoughts by Jack Handey"

You've Read This Before
The "I'm too busy for my pants" Away Message

There comes a time in all of our lives when we start to get busy. When we reach that point, many of us start to feel sorry for ourselves...but what is the best cure for a busy schedule? Why, sharing with the world!

The "I'm too busy for my pants" away message typically takes on one of two formats: the Dirt on My Shirt and the Spin Cycle.

The Dirt on My Shirt
These away messages are characterized by a certain sense of desperation, akin to the feeling you get when you discover you have dirt on your shirt and not enough time to change it (as if your day could get any worse). These away messages are generally short, negative, and sometimes end in a plea for divine intervention. Please see the example below:

"tuesday...my longest day in the week...pray for me"

Notice how the author of the away message is too busy to include basic sentence structure elements, including capital letters and punctuation. The over-use of ellipses is effective in communicating the author's hurried state of mind. He does not even have time to separate his thoughts! I know that I ALWAYS feel sorry for Dirt on My Shirters because going to a few classes and a dinner meeting is terribly difficult.

The Spin Cycle
The Spin Cycle message gets its name from the "laundry list" of constant activity that leaves your mind in a twirl. Spin Cycles are typically longer, multifaceted messages that sequentially list the day's activities. Unlike the Dirt on My Shirt, Spin Cycle messages generally end on a positive note for the "energizer bunny" effect. B-Fresh provides us with an excellent example below:

"writing up the homework, turning it in, class, lunch, class, grading hopefully 3 labs before a meeting, have to finish the other 20 labs tomorrow morning...
p.s. probably going to peru may 24! machu pichu and ancient ruins and all that!"

The Spin Cycle gives off the impression that, not only is the author busy, but she is busier, and thus better, than you (but you already knew that because all you do is sit around and read away messages).

"I'm too busy for my pants" messages are only one example of away message communication. Keep tuning in for more You've Read This Before!

a few more people with busy pants:
"another super-busy day...back sometime after chapter"

"Quick run to the library to return books, Acting III, Chorale, dinner, final dress rehearsal :-D, then back to do homework and relax."

"lesson before school, at school, piano lessons after school then rehearsal at the high school"

"TUESDAY exam, class, class, lunch, helpin sarah out with some stuff....basically, back way later.:-D"

scott adds:

"7:30-2:00 Workin' Girl
2:30-6:30 FaBW rehearsal
8-10 Freedom Board Mtg. "

"I'm physically and mentally exhausted... im going to try to be a loser and go to sleep at 8 at night! LoL leave a message!"

"I need to get more sleep at night!"

"church's chicken without the ''s chicken'"

"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony... I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

"good day bacon lovers"


".........................................................................
...........................................................................
...........
where's pac-man when you need him?"

I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I ran away with a plastic cake topper...

"There's a deaf person in one of my classes, and she has a personal sign-language person. It is distracting. I don't have a beef with the deaf, it's just hard to learn with a person standing 3 feet from you and looking like she's having a sock-puppet fight with herself."

"question : is there anywhere you can fix graphics cards ?
clarification : what do you mean by 'fix?'
smartass answer : like.. he snapped it in-half and needs some special graphics-card glue"

the latest entries into the valentine's away messages:

"jesus is my valentine<3<3<3"

"valentines day is for suckers!, and i'm the biggest one"

"I have the most amazing boyfriend in the entire world!!!!"

"i'm probably getting ready for steak n shake. happy v day for those of you with lovers and happy bitterness day for those of you without them:-) (fortunately i have one haha!!)"

in honor of valentine's day, here are some choice VD away messages as of 9:35am (EST).


"Happy Day Where I'm Contractually-Obligated By Pop Culture To Profess My Love For Someone Through Flowers, Candy, Stuffed Bears, And/Or Lingerie Because I'm Too Chickensh*t To Do It Any Other Day... Day."

"Be of cheer: Jesus was single too!!!"

"Valentines day is lik a box of chocolates, over-priced and almost always dissapointing!"

"happy v-day
i've got a hot date all day with my psych and the law book- it's ok to be jealous!"

the following are away messages as of 12:20am from a few on my IM list...

"sammydvc: you're what every girl could hope for
sammydvc: oh nathan
sammydvc: you certainly can take a girl's breath away
sammydvc: sigh"

"This is so much fun!!!"

"reading so i can fall asleep so i can wake up early tomorrow so i can get sh*t done so i can not suck at life.

and here's a pre-emptive Happy Chocolate Day for everyone!"

"im in a coma right now.... leave a message just in case i wake up"

"sooooooooooooooo sick of studying :-\"

A healthy dose of depression...
all of the following away messages were taken from my buddy list at approximately 10:35 p.m. on 2/13/06. With Valentine's Day only a few hours away, there is nothing more encouraging than a group of bitter people wallowing in their own grief.

"homework sucks"

"the never ending work :-\ "

"Is it possible for this day to get ANY worse?"

"busy, busy, busy"

" :-\ "

"Fehking bad mood... and today had been going so well. Well, that's not entirely true, but still. Fehk. >:o"

"This is awesome! Black God rules!"
- bart simpson