away4theday

Dear Tracey

This had me laughing today as I've not seen it in many years. I'm going to use it as my new away message on AIM. Or ICU. Or...

for Rustypants - from seven years ago

Dear Rustypants,

If you are reading this, it means we have survived the end of the Mayan calendar and any Zombie apocalypse that may have sprung to life (ha..undead humor). It is 2006 and we have just embarked on what is sure to become a revolutionary part of history, writing our new blog, Away4theday. In a world of increasing technological permeation, our mission is to capture the essence of what people have to say while they are away. Away messages are now the most prevalent form of indirect and passive communication, and we have the God-given task of dissecting them (you had that burning bush moment too, right?). I firmly believe that away messages hold the key to understanding our society as a whole. I hope that with diligent study, you and I can analyze and theorize and possibly unlock the greater meaning of human existence, all by stalking our friends on instant messenger.

But Rustypants, I can't help but dream and long for more. Imagine, if you will, a world where no one is actually ever "away." I understand how far fetched this may sound, but what if, by some crazy twist of fate, we never had to step away from our technology? What if we could go about our days, waking up, going to work, biking to the beach, having dinner with friends, stopping by the grocery store...all while staying connected to every single person we have ever met in our lives?

Instead of going through a laundry list of away messages, people could give minute by minute updates of all of the mundane tasks they complete during the day. We could share in each other’s mood swings and heartbreaks in real-time! We would never have to wonder where our friends are as we sit at home alone on a Saturday night because satellite technology could pinpoint their location to the exact coordinates! People could share what they are reading, watching, listening to, laughing about and eating as it happens. Traditional news sources will become obsolete as friends and neighbors compete to be the first to share a breaking story. You will know everyone’s political leanings and feelings on social issues because lack of face-to-face communication will dissolve the traditional walls of acceptable conversation with complete strangers! People could cite falsified information and attribute ridiculous quotations to famous people and no one will bother to check their validity because everything you see on the internet will be considered true! And the cats…oh Rustypants, the cats! I dream that someday, the world will realize what I have always known about cats and the internet will be flooded with their image!!!

And so I leave you with this...a picture of what I ate for breakfast. May this one day become the new normal...

I want a pony,

please and thank you.

Some people say that I am going to turn into a cat lady. Here is why I won't.

This is me.

This is a cat.

This is what happens to me when I see a cat.

I would have a million cats!!! But I don't because I have people who care about me and don't want me to turn into a cat lady. This is how I don't have a million cats.